Part-3

It’s been almost three months we haven’t spoken to each other and today I am going to see her may be when she sees me she will change her mind or may be I when I see her I will change my mind only god knows what will happen. I am nervous even to get on the plane, thank god I chose to fly first class at least I will have room to be fidgety, I will have space for me and my thoughts. They have already announced my flight, first I fly to Qatar and after a transit of 8 hours I fly to Washington Dulles Airport. I am extremely nervous and I am pretty much anxious as well, I wonder how she will react when she sees me, she did say she loved me but that was long ago. I haven’t heard her voice for ever. I have a fondness for her voice, it’s not very pitchy, it’s kind of deep yet it’s melodious, she stresses on odd words, at times it sounds like she is singing, I can hear her talk all day long, I can look at her all day long the rest of my life  if she would only let me, give me the chance. She is not very tall, her legs are slender and long, she has a mole behind her neck for me that’s one of her sexiest features, her eyes- oh her eyes they are big, intoxicating if I was a poet I would describe her eyes in every verse, her lips I think they taste like strawberries, I wish I could kiss her beautiful lips, I wish I could hold her, sleep in the comfort of her arms. They let first class flyers in from a different entrance, not many my age are flying first class today, I really don’t care all I know is this is going to be the longest 24 hours of my life. A beautiful air hostess welcomes us inside the plane with a bright smile, she is wearing red lipstick matching her out fit, she is very pretty. There is a gentleman in front of me he looks like a business man, his face seems angry and he is in a hurry to go sit. I nod at the air hostess, no pretty face can distract me at this moment, my mind is occupied with her thoughts and only her thoughts. My sit is comfortable, I have long legs, thank god I can stretch them. One of the air hostesses comes with warm towels, why do all air hostesses look the same, same make up and uniform I guess, she smiles at me, I nod “Sir” she says and hands me the towel, I need something to relax so I take this opportunity and ask for a glass of cognac, some brandy in my system will help me calm down. I drift into my thoughts as the plane takes off. Qatar airport is huge and the first class lounge is amazing, I need some rest I need to look fresh and alive.

As the plane touches the runway of Washington Dulles airport my heart is in my throat. I just want to get over with it, my heart is stuck on her but if she doesn’t want me I guess I will be all by myself.

Mark my best friend of 6 years has come to pick me up at the air port, he drove all the way of Pennsylvania, he has been making all the arrangements, I will be staying at his Uncle’s house, he didn’t want me to stay in a hotel, since we will have the house all to our selves I really don’t mind. Mark is my bro. We attended university together. Mark is a good looking dude, I am not gay, I am just saying. He is a brunette, tall, a little buffed up, his good looking genes comes from his parents his mother is an American and his dad is Russian. As we enter our house for as long as we live there it’s ours, I seem to have zoned out, I can’t think, hear or speak.

“Dude” Mark nudges me

I get startled.

“What?” I ask

“You came all the way for her? What if she doesn’t feel the same way for you?” he asks, concerned.

“I want to take my chances, what if she does feel the same way?” I say, I further add “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting for not trying, not letting her know how much I love her”

Mark laughs. He is never heard me talk about love, I have had flings but I never thought I would fall so deeply in love.

Mark’s girlfriend Zoya is amazing, they have been in a relationship for almost 5 years. They are engaged, getting married next month. Zoya is tall, petite, black hair, grey eyes, long nose, and lips that match her eyes and face. She greets us at the door, she plunges towards me and gives a tight hug, her embrace tells me she knows and she is very concerned. She gives me that reassuring smile; her expression tells me everything will be alright. She has prepared an elaborate dinner, I am not very tired and surprisingly I don’t feel jet-lagged, Mark offers me a bottle of beer, we sit at the porch talking about his wedding jitters, Zoya joins us and he stops the wedding conversation.

“When are you going to call her?” Zoya inquires

“Tomorrow” I reply. I have to thank Mark for getting me this number, I am glad my best friend is responsible. Actually, if need be I would do the same for him.

Tomorrow- I hope she agrees to see me.

Before dinner I decide to take a shower, Zoya takes me to my room, before leaving she sits on my bed, holds my hand, squeezes it gently and says “I have never seen you do this for any one, I bet she is very special, I can’t wait to meet her, I hope she feels the same way”.

I hope that too, I say to myself.

After dinner I feel really tired, so I decide to hit the sack. I am restless; I decide I need to call her tonight, actually right now. I am nervous even to dial her number. People think us men don’t have emotions, we do, but we choose not to show them, I am scared, I have never been this scared of anything. I love this woman, I really do, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I call her.

She answers, “Hello”

I haven’t heard her in so long; I have missed her so much. I love her voice.

Scared, I call her name “Arpita”

She is mum. I guess she still recognizes my voice.

Before I say anything, “Where are you?” she asks

“Here” I say

“Here as in Virginia?” she asks, nervous or excited I really can’t tell

“Fairfax” I reply.

She is quiet now.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” I ask

“I have to go to work” she replies

“For dinner” I say

“Around 8” she replies

“Sounds good, did I disturb you?” I ask

“Oh, no, I was getting ready to go to bed” she answers, “can I ask you something?” she says

I know what she wants to ask.

“Why are you here?”

“Mark is getting married, I am one of his best men” I reply

“Mark your best friend that I have never met?” she says and even before I can answer she further adds “That’s the only reason?”

“No” I answer

Both of us don’t say anything for a while.

“I will see you tomorrow, you must be tired, sleep” she says

I want to talk to you! I can only think and not say it out loud.

“Good night” I say

I lie on my bed, wide awake, tired yet I cannot sleep. All I can think of is tomorrow; I can’t wait to see her. I don’t know how long have I been lying awake, suddenly my phone rings. I check to see the time it’s only 11.30 and it’s her on the phone.

“Hey” she says

Is she crying? I can tell she is crying. Damn it- it’s my fault, I know she is crying because of me.

“Is everything alright?” I ask

“I want to see you, right now” she says

I am stunned.

“Give me your address” she demands

I give. See you in half an hour she says and hangs up

I jump out of my bed. The first thing I do is look at myself in the mirror, uncombed hair and I am in my pajamas. I don’t look as bad as I thought I was looking. Time seems to move extremely slowly, I have already finished drinking a bottle of beer as I reach for the second one my phone rings again.

“I am standing outside” she says

I run and open the door. There she is- the love of my life.

She is in her green track pants, red top and red flip flops, quiet an odd combination but she still looks good. Her nose is pink; her eyes tell me she has been crying for a few hours now. I take her in; I don’t know if I will get to see her again. She literally jumps into my arms and takes me by surprise. I take her in my embrace; I never want to let her go. She sobs, she punches me and she sobs.

“I am here to fight with you but first at least have the decency to invite me in” she says in her half crying half smiling voice.

I smile, she comes in and I take her to my room. I don’t want my friends to wake up and I don’t want them to see her this way. I come to the kitchen to get myself another bottle of beer, she is not a beer drinker, so I check the kitchen cabinet to see if they have wine, yes they do- Pinot Noir- I pour her a glass.

She is lying on my bed as I enter my room.

“This pillow smells of you” she says looking at me.

I sit next to her-I want to hold her hand- I want to hold her- but I don’t- I patiently wait to for her to talk- I know she has a lot to say.

“Why now, Nischay?” she asks

I love it when she calls my name. But right now it’s making me nervous.

Why now? What do I tell her? The truth- I suppose.

“I am here because I want you- I have always wanted you- I am here because I had to see you- when you told me “we” will never work out I felt the earth move from my feet- I had to come here myself and see if “we” will ever work out or if you were right” I ramble

She looks at me, comes closer, touches my face, plants a gentle peck on my cheek, hugs me tight and starts crying.

“Couldn’t you have come earlier? You don’t know what I have been through in the past three months, you don’t know the things I have done to get over you, all those men I went out with, I even got a tattoo, the pain in my heart was unbearable and I wanted that pain to transfer else where” she says

A tattoo, interesting- she is full of surprises.

“When you called I was ecstatic, then I saw the man lying on my bed” she says

The man lying on my bed, I repeat her sentence in my head. Am I too late? Will I never be with her? Fuck!

I don’t say anything, I can’t say anything.

“I have been seeing him for a month now” she says

“Do you like him?” I ask

“He is a very nice person” she replies

“He is very nice and I like him are two different things” I say

“Yes, I like him” she says

How do I react?

“But Nischay, my heart is stuck on you; I thought I would never get to see you so I did what I thought was right, I love you very much” she says

What do I say? There is a man lying on her bed and here she is in my room, in my embrace telling me she loves me. I told her once I love her in every form-every way- I guess I meant it.

She pulls from my embrace- she looks at me- I gaze into her eyes- I lean towards and plant a soft kiss on her lips- she kisses me back- I have always wanted to kiss her but I never thought I would have this passion and intensity.

“This is not right” she says pulling away

“Why?” I ask

“I have another man in my house and here I am kissing you- I feel like a whore” she shouts

“YOU ARE NOT” I almost shout

“I have to figure this out” she says

I try to hold her but she pulls away

“I have to go” she says

I beg her to stay, my heart is on my throat what if I don’t get to see her ever again, what if this is it. I just stand there helpless- she looks at me, leans and plants a swift peck on my lips- I love you Nischay Rana she says and walks away!