Part-2

The bed smells clean, it’s soft, I don’t want to get up. Something smells really good, food? My stomach is growling, I love my breakfasts, where am I? I am not home, my room mate doesn’t wake up on time to make breakfast neither do I, so we always end up eating late breakfast at a café near our house but right now I am not at that café and this room smells delicious, oh yes! I am not in my apartment in Kathmandu, I am in some other city for work and I am sleeping on a hotel bed, I just woke up, did I share this room with someone? No, so who ordered my breakfast? Why does this seem like a Sherlock Holmes puzzle, think Arpita how did your room end up smelling so delicious? I jump out of my bed at the thought of it, damn right it is his hotel! He is so sneaky, just because it is his hotel doesn’t mean he can enter someone else’s room, how did he even manage to do this, oh! Yes owners have access to every room, they have a master key seriously I am going to sue him for invading my privacy if not I will just give him a piece of my mind when I see him. I am famished, I didn’t eat last night, he remembered that’s why this elaborate breakfast, I smile, any girl would smile!

Let’s see what we have here hash browns, bacon strips, scrambled eggs, toasts, fruits, coffee and diet coke, diet coke for breakfast? Obviously he has figured out my addiction very swiftly, impressive Mr. Rana but what was he thinking do I look like I eat for five people? Oh! There is a note as well, nice touch:

Hold your thoughts right there just because I own this place doesn’t mean I have access to every room, I am not one of those creepy hotel owners. You didn’t eat last night and I know you love waking up late so I went through the liberty of sending you breakfast, since you don’t have to work today take your time finish your breakfast, go to the spa everyone’s looking forward to de-stressing Arpita mam, if you need me call my cell, I am not in my room.

PS Happy birthday, you think I wouldn’t find out, hope you like your gift that is if you can find it. I will pick you up at 5 and we will go celebrate you getting old.

Nischay

Think of the devil and my phone rings.

What’s that noise, where am I again?

Something is ringing continuously, my ears or my brain? Someone stop that irritating sound. My head hurts, I am parched, feels like I haven’t drank water in ages. I don’t want to get out of bed, water, I need water. Will it just stop ringing! I don’t feel so good, my stomach is on fire. I forcibly get out of my bed and drag myself to the kitchen. Water never tasted so good mmm, I need aspirin as well, my head seriously hurts. Its 7 already, I need to get ready for work, fix myself some breakfast, it’s going to be a long day. 

Holy cow, what happened to me last night? That girl standing in front of the mirror, she is not me. Was I crying? - Oh! Lord what happened? WHAT DID I DO? I shout, I literally shout. I am sure I did something stupid, damn it! Arpita Sharma, I will spank you if you have done anything stupid yells my subconscious. Did I call any one? Oh my god, it’s not my ear or my brain ringing, my blackberry has been ringing, who did I call? I should go check, why do I drunk dial, no why on earth do I drink?

Unenthusiastically I walk towards my phone. Who did I call yesterday? No one, I didn’t drunk dial, I am proud of you Arpita, so what did I do? I emailed Nischay to remind him that I exist-oh! Yes Nischay and that girl, he is in love with her, no wonder he didn’t reply back, no wait he did. SHIT- I sent drunken emails to him, I want to go jump off a cliff. He called, three emails from him, almighty-help!

I have the same nauseating feeling I had last night, my mouth doesn’t taste good, I think I am going to throw up. Not here-bathroom. I run to the toilet and throw up in the most unlady like manner.  I should call in sick, then clean the mess I made last night. What will I say to him? Nischay I was drunk, jealous, vulnerable, lonely, I think I am in love with you or seeing you with that girl made me realize that I am in love with you. Is this love? I think it’s my insecurity and loneliness talking. Call work- I have food poisoning, can’t make it to work today. My boss is very sweet, she likes me, I don’t have to worry about work, emails- now, read the emails:

To: Arpita Sharma

Subject: huh?

Date: 4/25/2012

From: Nischay Rana

She is a friend. Why are you even bothered?  What do you mean by wait for you to come around? I waited for almost two fucking years, did you come around? If you didn’t come around then, why should I expect you to come around now? Yes, I am dating her, happy?

He is angry, it’s my fault. I should apologize.  I am just having a psychotic break because I saw their picture. I should read the other two emails before I say or do anything

To: Arpita Sharma

Subject:

Date: 4/25/2012

From: Nischay Rana

What do you think of yourself? Did you email me because you saw me wrapped in some woman’s arm? You don’t even have the right to ask me who she is, you don’t! You are one selfish person, you don’t care about me, you only care about how you feel and how I make you feel. Did you ever think  how my feelings were hurt, how rejected you made me feel and still I was around because I loved you- I still do, but I don’t feel the same way for you. You are selfish; you will never learn to love me. How does this make you feel? Sad? GOOD! I am so fucking pissed right now

To: Arpita Sharma

Subject: Why?

Date: 4/25/2012

From: Nischay Rana

Now you don’t want to reply back, seriously? Everything has to be about you, even now? Answer you stupid phone, I have been calling you like crazy, we need to sort this out right now. Are you fucking drunk and passed out somewhere, that’s the best you can do to escape your problems, when will you learn to face them? You are such a loser, get your ACT together. I am done with you, for EVER!

He hates me, I have hurt him again. He is never been so mad at me, I can imagine him pacing around his room,  calling me every minute, checking his email every minute, what have I done? I think I just lost him- I am such a fool, I lost the only man who didn’t want anything from me but in return gave me everything, I have lost him. I don’t know what to say to him, I think I am going to cry. I miss him, he hates me, I have lost him. I start to sob, I choke in tears and still I sob, I can’t seem to stop crying, what have I done? May be he will forget all of this in a few days; I should give him some time.  My thought process is disturbed with the sudden ringing of my phone, I ignore it as much as I can but it continues ringing. I check to see who is calling- it’s him! He will call until I answer, it’s now or never Arpita.

“Hello” I say

“Finally” he says

And then we both press our mute buttons. Is he going to say something or am I supposed to say sorry. I don’t want to aggravate him further; I will wait for him to speak.

“You are the only girl who treats me like a non existent garbage bag”  Nischay says with a sad face.

I laugh- non existent garbage bag- “I am special and I know you love it when I treat you that way” I say

“I love you in any form, any manner, anything you say or do I will still love you, I just  don’t understand what’s wrong with me, why don’t you feel the same way for me?”  He means it, his face says it all. I am not ready , I am still recovering.

“ Nischay, you mean everything to me, if we had met under different circumstances I would have said yes in one breath but I am leaving and we both know long distance relationships hardly work out, I am not the right girl for you, you will meet some one better”

I told him he would meet someone better, he did I should just let this go. I have to let it go, it’s time. I have to let him go.

“Nischay, I am sorry about last night” I say, I don’t want him to speak, if he does I will be weak, I want him to hear me out first.

“I didn’t know how to react when I saw her with you, I felt as if some one took out a piece of heart and stomped on it, I am sorry, I want you to be happy, always” I add. I don’t want to cry, why is this so painful? Do I love him? Yes, Arpita you do. When did I fall in love with him? This cannot be happening, not now. I never thought of him that way or did I? Subconsciously or unconsciously I did and now it’s all coming to life, I love this guy and he is on the other end about to tell me he wants nothing to do with me, I have screwed up real bad this time.

“I am very sorry if you want I will apologize to her as well, I will even add her on face book, be very good friends with her” I blurt out

“Shut up” he says

“I didn’t call to hear what you have to say” he says sternly

“Okay” I say almost choking

“Do you love me?” he asks

WHAT?  Yes, I think I am crazy about you.

“Why?” I ask, this is going to make him angrier

“Answer” he demands

“I think so” I say

“You think so, are you not sure?” he says

He is such an asshole, he never makes it easy for me. What does he want me to do declare my love for him from roof tops, even if I do that he is not here to hear it and it really doesn’t even matter now, why does he want to know?

“Does it matter if I am sure or not?” I ask, I don’t care even if his anger aggravates further

“It does, Arpita for once make it easy for me, and it’s a simple yes or no question” he says firmly

“Yes, I am crazy about you, took me almost 2 years to realize it but I am madly in love with you and I can’t stand the thought of you with any other woman, there I said it happy?” I shout over the phone

“Extremely” he says

“What?” I ask

“Remember Suraj she is his girlfriend” he says dryly

Seriously? Suraj’s girlfriend, I went crazy over his friend’s girlfriend and he took this opportunity to make me confess, JERK!

“So what do we do about it Miss. Sharma?” he asks, I can hear him smile. I smile.

“I don’t know” I say making sure the irritation in my voice is heard

“First of all, I was getting ready to date other women, I have plenty of girls running after me just so that you know and just so that you will be on your toes. Arpita, I love you, I think I have loved you ever since the day I laid eyes on you” he says.

Idiot, he is laughing. He is happy. I am ecstatic: I want to summersault, scream, I have this big grin plastered on my face. He loves me, he always has.

“You better behave” I say

“You better behave as well, by the way, I might have a surprise for you, don’t ask me what it is now, you will get the surprise soon”. He says

Surprise? Is he coming here? I so want to ask him but I will wait, the surprise better be good,  he loves surprising me and his surprises have always been good. He is coming to see me, please god!  I love him.  Nischay my Niscahy- I love you, I can’t believe that I actually love you.