Opposites attract, this is so true, and it is given us by nature. Adam, a man and Eve a woman were sent to earth to continue civilization, had there been two Adams, where would we be?
Love: What is it about love that everyone wants to fall in it and never get up again? No matter how many times your heart breaks, someone else comes along to heal it, they share your extra baggage and lighten your burden. Love is the best feeling of all, it makes you laugh, it makes you cry, it makes you submissive, it makes you a fighter, it makes you proud, at times it makes you do the stupidest things, but after all it is the best feeling of all.
The Laws of Nature
Opposites attract, this is so true, and it is given us by nature. Adam, a man and Eve a woman were sent to earth to continue civilization, had there been two Adams, where would we be? Human beings are smart, they are superior, and any wrong we do for many of us doesn’t seem to be a wrong deed. Human beings going against the law of nature, there are many instances, but the most prominent would be this one: God created men and women so that they would meet, fall in love and continue the race of human beings. But what if a man isn’t attracted or he cannot see any appeal in a woman but in a man, and what if a woman cannot find any man attractive but a woman? Is this going against the law of nature? Falling in love with the same sex as yours, isn’t this going against the law of nature?
Homosexuality
Homosexuality is not a new term to us; we are all well acquainted with that term directly or indirectly. At some point we Nepalese do have a biased view towards it, there is still a stigma attached to it. At a certain level we respect it and we even try to refrain from it. But again, we are open to it, we don’t have to go to California to witness gay marriages, we are one of the first countries in South East Asia to accept gay marriages. Speaking from a personal point of view I never had a problem with them, I respect them and admire them for their courage to come forward and for those who try to pretend to be what they are not I pity them, why hide under that protective cocoon and live as someone else? It must be difficult to live with a different identity; it must be hard to pretend to be someone else. I have a friend who feels he is born in the wrong body, he always tells me, I feel that I should have been born as a woman, women don’t grab my attention, they don’t fascinate me, they don’t arouse me, they don’t make me turn my head. I rather notice their shoes, their hair, their clothes, makeup and what not and if I don’t like whatever they are wearing well I make fun of them. That is me, but I can’t come forward with it. I am ashamed, I am scared. Today, I want to write his story, his perfect love story at times which I wish to have with a man .
A different love story
When I was in grade 10, a girl gave me a love letter expressing her love towards me (he chuckles), she was very pretty and I was not that bad looking either. Everyone thought I would say yes to her, accept her proposal but I didn’t, I wasn’t attracted towards her, I was attracted towards boys. At times it bothered me, I used to ask myself why? I had a hard time trying to find an answer. During my college days I had a girlfriend, I went shopping with her, bought her makeup, helped her in selecting the right shoes but no I couldn’t be physical with her, I couldn’t even kiss her. I tried once to lock my lips with hers, I nearly gagged, I felt I was kissing someone who was the same as me, a girl. I started to research, I thought it was psychological, but no, it was not. I was attracted towards men, I fantasized about them, men aroused me.
At parties I would try hard not to look at any man, because I didn’t want my family and friends to find out. I still don’t want anyone to know; I feel I am not ready to come out of the closet as yet. I am not going to deny the fact that I have a boyfriend, and he has no problem with his sexual preference, he is confident and charming, at first this is what attracted me towards him. We met at my brother’s wedding; it was love at first sight for me. I couldn’t help but notice him from head to toe, his red tie, crisp black suit and white shirt, shiny black shoes, his watch, his well cut hair, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I tried to look for excuses to go talk to him, deep down inside I felt he would not notice me. I am not a girl, I am a man and I have a crush on a man. I was standing next to the bar when he started to walk towards me; my heart was pounding on my throat, he came right next to me and said, “I can see you ogling at me” I was nervous. He asked me for my number. I felt he was just fooling me, but to my surprise he called me, we spoke and met for coffee.
We started to meet every day, we went out on dates, but no one ever suspected. Its four years, and I am madly in love with him. He wants to marry me, but I am scared, how can I ever tell my parents, my family and friends. Sooner or later I will have to come out of the closet, it will take time, but I will before he decides to move on. “Love is not a feeling that you can control, it is the force which rules your soul” this I learnt after meeting him. I hope I will have courage to publicly declare my love for him, without hiding myself or by being anonymous before it’s too late.
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