There he was sitting in that restaurant, drinking red wine.
I was standing behind the glass doors a little adjacent to his table, I could
see him very well, but he hadn't noticed me yet, I stood there looking at his
magnificently structured face, his jaw line broad enough to make him look
irresistible, his nose which perfectly matched his eyes and lips, he was a wine
drinking Greek god, pretty content sitting all by himself. I couldn't take a
step further, I just wanted to stand out side that restaurant door drinking him
in while he drank his wine, I wished to go to his table and ask him if the
table was taken, but that would be too cheesy.
People came in and they went out of that restaurant, I stood there like
a dumb fool, magnetized by a man.
“Yes, ma we are
driving to Betsy’s place, please don’t bother me, no I am not with any guy, I
am with my friends, c’mon ma, trust me, okay love you, bye” , when you stand
where you are not supposed to, staring at a man, you tend to eaves drop in some
one else’s conversation, even though that is not your intention. She, who ever
she was, was wearing a slutty tight red dress, I swear if I had a measuring
tape her heels would be exactly 5 inches, she was not with Betsy, she was not
driving anywhere, she was standing at a
corner with her tongue down some hooligan’s throat and she told her mom to
trust her, if she were my daughter I would put her on a leash. My Greek god was
still drinking his wine, while the slut was busy letting some loser feel her
up, she was begging him to take her to his place, I felt sorry for her mom, I
really did. I wish I hadn’t seen or heard that, I just wanted to tell her, have
some respect for your mom, you just told her to trust you but I don’t like to
meddle in someone else’s business, that particular time all I wanted to do was
be magnetized my him. He had his phone in his hand, looked like he was
messaging some one, was he waiting for some one? Date? Meeting? Wife? , I was
not ready to leave with out knowing who he belonged to. At times a glass door
is all it takes to make two people seem worlds apart, one simple glass door,
made with silica, sodium oxide, lime, separating two living, breathing people.
That glass door seemed so claustrophobic, it was there, just a door, but it was
a barrier, an amorphous obstacle. I put my hand on the glass barricade,
thinking, if I was the one he was waiting for, actually if I were that person I
would never make him wait, I would love him madly and he would love me with all
his heart and might, we would get married on a beach, with our closest of
friends, I would wear a white chiffon gown, diamond ear rings and pendant, to
add some color I would wear a red rose on my hair and red shoes, he would be
amazed by me, that day we would vow – Till death do us apart, our lives would
begin with each other and end with each other, there would never be any one
else, besides our flesh and blood. We would honeymoon in Italy, make love every
day and night, our honey moon would not be over, Italy or not,
it wont be over in our house, love making will never die, candles,
chocolates, hot baths, everything, and one fine day I will be pregnant, we will
have a baby girl, her name will be “Anastasia”, she will have blues eyes, she
will be a brunette, she will look as good as her mom and dad. I am a good
looking woman, I can say that because I look at myself in the mirror everyday,
plus when I am walking or at a restaurant or a coffee shop, out of 5, three men
always give me that look, they smile, I frown and walk away. My standards when
it comes to men are pretty high, I wouldn’t just smile for some random
stranger, I will only smile if that stranger speaks to my heart. With just a
look, that stranger has to make me feel giddy, butterflies, happy, nervous, in
5 seconds I need to feel all that, I know I am a weird person, I always believe
the day I meet that person I would be the happiest. I could feel butterflies
flutter inside my stomach, my palms were sweaty which definitely meant I was
nervous, I was smiling, my lips were stretched from one corner to the other, I
was happy, I wanted to act a like a teenage, especially when she sees her
crush, I was feeling all those feelings, it was him, my stranger inside that
amorphous glass. I was being drawn towards him, I was thinking about him in
every possible way, I felt his lips on mine, and I sighed in a moaning kind of
way, we were kissing passionately, his hand reaching for my dress’s zipper, in
my mind we were making love and I was getting excited, that is when it
happened, he looked up, he looked at me and I froze. He continued to look at
me, I didn’t look away, I swear in that moment, I felt infinite, he was making
me alive with just his stare. It was like he was speaking to my soul, telling
me to be happy because I deserve to, telling me love is just around the corner.
You know, I read a book by Paulo Coelho called Brida, that book talks about soul
mates, for some reason that very moment I had to think about that book, my mind
started to wander, why oh why? Why cant soul mates recognize each other and
even if one does, the other one can’t, why? I felt this happening to me right
now, I recognized him but he would never recognize me, he would just stare at
me, thinking I am a freak, standing outside a restaurant, staring inside, he
will think I am poor, homeless, and I am hungry, my dear, you have chained my
feet to the ground, you, I wish I could whisper those words in his ears. He
continued to kill me with his stare, he didn’t take his eyes off of the glass
door as he stood up, to hug a beautiful, blonde wearing a red dress, not too short
nor too long, she knew her clothes well, she was beautiful, she jumped into his
arms, his lips on hers, my stomach felt sick, why? I don’t know, mentally in
that half hour he belonged to me. After their kiss, he hugged her, and looked
up to look at me, then he smiled, he smiled at me. I smiled back, I smiled
hard, I laughed and I walked away, thinking how many times I must have come
across a stranger, how many times I must have fallen in love with him in an instant,
how many times I must have made him my soul mate, many times, many times.
That’s just me, I paint pictures of love in my mind, I find my soul mates every
day, I am weird that way, I am lonely that way and I am happy that way.
